hiii_im_heather

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-08-21T13:02:00

2005-08-21T17:04:56Z

EVERYONE ADD ME AT all_your__fault
</span>

#34

2005-07-26T23:08:53Z

OKAY. I guess I should update.

Soooo. I took my pictures. &It wasn't that bad. Infact, it wasn't bad at all. Actually I wanted to keep taking pictures. All except the one that goes in the yearbook. @@ We had a time trying to put the little thing on. &I was bitching in the bathroom cause my mom was helping me, and brittany was in there. &I didn't know it was here. Then I felt so embarassed, but whatever.

Anyways, Danny was there. IT WAS SO EMBARASSING. Cause he brought his saddle with him &my mom was saying all this crazy shit about how we'd make a good couple. &Boy oh boy when she found that he and I have the same last name, boy- did she have a time 'picking' on me. I couldn't shut her up.

UM. Nothing else to report on. Now I'ma go &take a bath. laterz.

♥Heather

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-07-16T19:00:00

2005-07-16T23:02:01Z

Nanny just called and said for me to come to her work and get the money so my 'mother' could take me. SHE IS MAKING ME GO. do they not understand i don't want to take these damn pictures?!

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-07-16T15:46:00

2005-07-16T22:56:38Z

I'm so fucking pissed off right now. It seems as if everyone I fucking know lies to me. I just feel like letting my fucking anger out on someone; I wish I had someone to let it out on.

I didn't want to fucking take senior pictures in the first place. But my fucking mother is making me take them, against my will. So she was like we'll go buy you something to wear on Saturday. Then I find out they're fucking going to the pool. And they didn't come home until around six. Then she fucking tells me that we'll go in the morning. So I said I knew we we're going, and hung the phone up in her face. I was so fucking pissed off. She is always fucking lying to me, or getting me to lie for her. I can't fucking take her anymore. I'm so sick of her, I just want to get the fuck away from here. I hate it here. My family causes me so much pain. I hate them. I hate my family.

I'd run away if I weren't so damn scared. I'm just so sick of their bullshit. I'm sick of everyone here. I'm sick of here.

♥
Heather

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-07-10T03:02:00

2005-07-10T07:06:10Z

I know. I haven't updated in forever.

I'm listening to kid rock's cowboy. Obsessed much? I'd say so.

So I'm just talking to this loser on the phone.

#30

2005-06-18T04:52:38Z

='[

I'm really sad all of a sudden, & I'm about to bust out in tears. I kinda think I know why too. Because of what's coming up this weekend. </3>ONE</b>. What's the matter with me? I'm his daughter, yet it's like I'm dead to him. And what I really HATE is that he's living right down the road from me TAKING CARE OF SOMEONE ELSE'S KIDS!. Damnit. AND the kid's mother is out of town living!! She married SOME man, and moved out of town for anyone [cause she doesn't care] to take care of her children.

And back at the beginning of the year, when I thought he had changed, he was just USING me. Using his own daughter. He started taking me places I really thought he was trying to care for me. Everyone told me he was up to something, but I didn't listen, I told them he was changing. I actually though he was trying to be a dad to me. BUT then a guy my step-dad works with told him that the only reason he was taking me places is so it wouldn't look funny that he was taking someone else's child around and not his. SO when he took that women's daughter somewhere, they asked me if I wanted to go. BIG smack in the face. DAMN. How could I be that stupid.

I was thinking about this a couple of days ago. We did spend some time together when I was younger. & Then I realized that around the time he 'stopped caring' about me, was the around the time his mom & dad died. & I thought maybe he just didn't want to be close to anyone, not even me. I could understand that, BUT time goes on and you know? I was only ever around his parent like 3 or 4 times that I can remember. & I CAN'T even call them my grandparents. -I hate myself, i just wanna die right now.- & When she died, I went to her funeral, & I DIDN'T EVEN CRY. I wanted to, so badly, but I MADE myself hold the tears back. I didn't even cry... I remember like it was yesterday. I was in fifth grade, and I had just came home. My mom was standing on the sidewalk when i got off the bus and she told me. And I went into the house. And I ACTED like it didn't even bother me. And then later on that year, [when I was still in the fifth grade] his dad died. & I didn't even go to the funeral. & my cousin [on my dad's side] was in my class that year, and I knew something was wrong cause she hadn't been to school in over a week. And she came back and had all her hair cut off [something was wrong with her I think..] and my friends laughed at her, and made fun of her and so did I. And I just laughed at her, while she was fucking hurting & I still didn't feel a fucking thing. And I knew that it was killing her beacuse I seen the way she acted at her grandmom's funeral. & Whenever she would come to school, she'd start crying and she would always leave early. & We'd just laugh at her. How could I be that heartless? I really hate myself right now.

I really don't think I've EVER been this down before. I've got a fucking headache, & I feel like I'm going to puke my insides out.

I blame him for it. For it all. I fucking hate him so much.

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-06-16T22:37:00

2005-06-17T02:43:16Z

At about quarter after five, my sister came into my room and said "are you going to the twins party?" And I though, "what party?". I could not of said that I didn't want to go, so I went.

It was a total drag. Imagine about eight/nine kids all under the age eleven running around screaming & one fifteen year old dressed all slutty thinking she's all that. I can't believe her mom would let her come out of the house looking like she did, and her other daughter too. I'm surprised Luaren wasn't dressed all slutty. The youngest [I think] was wearing a shirt way to small for her, and had make-up caked on her face. She's like 9 years old. She wasn't half as bad as her older sister though. She was a mess. We'll just leave it at that. I just wished I had known about it so I could've at least tried to get out of going.

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-06-14T00:09:00

2005-06-14T04:10:06Z

Sorry, no colleges match your exact preferences. You may want to expand your search and keep an eye on the number of matches as you go along.

PSSSH, ARE YOU SERIOUS?
I ran a search on colleges, and that's what i got.

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-06-13T01:20:00

2005-06-13T05:22:20Z

First Name: heather
Birthday: 02/19/88
Hair color:dark brown w/highlites
Eye color:brown

Ten Favorite Bands:

1. i don't really listen to bands
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Ten Favorite Movies:

1.Armageddon
2.Pearl Harbor
3.Mean Girls
4.The Little Mermaid <333
5.My Dog Skip
6.The Breakfast Club
7.Sixteen Candles
8.Thirteen
9.Man In The Moon
10.The Perfect Storm

Ten Favorite friends:

1.David
2.Krystal
3.Cati
4.Jessica
5.Kiara
6.Kisha
7.screw everyone else :]
8.
9.
10.

Eight Favorite TV shows:

1.the real world
2.real world/road rules challenges
3.viva la bam
4.all my children [soap opera] ;]
5. that's really about it, i don't want much tv
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Four Favorite Colors:

1.pink
2.pink
3.pink
4.pink

Four Favorite Songs:
duuuuuuuuuude, only 4?!

1.i cross my heart
2.a country boy can survive
3.fishing in the dark
4. to be with you <333333333333333333333333x234808009573903480949090349082489348&forever+infinity

The favorite foods:

1.chicken
2.cheese <333
3.noodles
4.fries

Four Favorite places you've been:
ha. you're kidding me right?
1.
2.
3.
4.

Four Favorite Boy Names:

1.landon
2.jacob
3.jeremy
4.david

Four Favorite Girl Names:

1. oliva <333
2. hope
3. leigh ann
4. kaleigh

What is your favorite brand of shoes: don't have one really
What color are your pants/shorts right now?: gray
What is your bf's or gf's name?: idon'thaveone
What color are your socks?: barefoot
What kind of bracelets do you have on?: the kind like none
Is your hair up or down?: up
What is your favorite sport/hobby: yer dad
What did you eat for dinner?: food ;]

I'm about to go to bed, i'm so sleepy.

♥
Heather

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-06-12T23:20:00

2005-06-13T03:21:50Z

10 things that scare me:
1. life
2. death
3. love
4. the dark
5. heights
6. being on an airplane & boats
7.
8.
9.
10.

9 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. personality
2. eyes
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.

8 things i love:
1. country boys
2. cowboys
3. the color pink
4. eminem
5. life [sometimes]
6. love [sometimes]
7. country music
8. some of my friends

7 things i hate:
1. life [sometimes]
2. love [sometimes]
3. some of my friends
4. my "dad"
5. getting sunburned
6. people that use other people
7. people that hurt others, on purpose

6 random facts about me:
1. i'm really nice
2. i don't like my fingernails painted
3. i love shoes, esp. sandels
4. i like it when people say my name instead of "you"
5. i hate being ignored esp. when people do it on purpose
6. i'm selfish

5 things I plan to do before I die:
1. take a road trip
2. go to nashville to the grand ole opry
3. go to college
4. i don't know what else
5.

4 things i want to do right now:
1. get in a car and drive as far away from here as possible
2. talk to someone
3. go swimming
4. scream to the top of my lungs XD

3 things that annoy me:
1. when you're at a store or somewhere, and you're looking for something, and there is someone behind you, and they don't ask you to move, they just stand there looking stupid, waiting for you to move so they can go by, and they never say excuse me. that drives me up the wall
2. when people [esp. at school] use the bathroom & they don't wash their hands. At school, I'd go to the bathroom during 6th period, and there was this girl who always went in there, and she'd use the bathroom, come out the stall, and fix her hair, and go back to class. And you'd think she'd know better.
3. when you're talking to someone, and they leave or hang the phone up in your face without saying bye. OR when you're on the phone with someone, and they fall asleep. XD

2 things i can do:
1. type fast
2. be a good friend :]

1 thing i can't do:
1. drive.
</ljcut>

♥,
Heather

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-06-12T21:45:00

2005-06-13T01:46:40Z

It's never enough. I can never do anyfuckingthing right. I'm so sick of everyfuckingone. I wished.. I just wanna get far away from this place as possible.

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-06-12T19:42:00

2005-06-12T23:43:30Z

I'm so fxcking pissed off right now. >>.<

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-06-12T00:52:00

2005-06-12T05:09:53Z

<|3
Ilovehim&Imisshimsomuch.
I just wished I could talk to him one last time. It's always the same though. Ithoughthewasdifferent. At first it was kinda like iforgotallabouthim, now, Ican'tstopthinkingabouthim, well, it's not that I can't stop, it's just I keep thinking about it more [than usual]. IDK? & it seems like forever since I've spoken to him last; it has been about 2 months. I keep going back to the last time we talked. It's like the conversation is stuck in my head. & tonight I read some old e-mails that he wrote to me when he was in school. thathelovedmehaha. If that was true, why'd he say what he did afterwards? & then the night after that, he acted like nothing ever happened. Then I talked to him a couple days after that; on his b-day, and that was the last time. &whatwas10daysafterthat? Wow. It's like no matter how nice of a person you are to people, you always get dragged down. It's like I never win.
Tonight's really going to suck, trying to get to sleep.
='(
Unrequited love sucks becauseevenafterforeverIstilllovehimbutIknowthefeelingisn'tmutal.
& If you are reading this, and you think you know who I'm talking about, you're wrong, because this time it's not him.

♥,
Heather

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-06-10T18:23:00

2005-06-10T22:26:42Z

Things I need:

Money.
New cell phone. [Last night I had a dream in a dream that I had one.]
Car/Truck.
New pocketbook.
New clothes.

Not particularly in that order.

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-06-09T20:39:00

2005-06-10T00:41:53Z

It's like all of a sudden hot in here.

I seriously don't get people. =\

I think I'm going to take a bath now.

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-06-09T17:41:00

2005-06-09T21:51:42Z

I was thinking about this a few minutes ago. I'm very selfish, I really don't like to share anything. & I don't like helping people. & That's only b/c when I do, it's never good enough for them, & it never lives up to their standards.

My mom and i were talking today about senior pictures [which i DO NOT want to take] & college. I thought she'd never shut up. "Well you should've done this" & "You should be a that" & "You should go here". I was almost in tears [cause i was so frustrated], I couldn't stand it, I just wanted to holler stfu. I can't stand for someone to sit there and tell me what I *should do* or *should've done*. I don't know where I'm going to college, and I don't know what I'm "going to be", and w/e.

IDK? I just don't know about anything anymore. I was going to add something else, but I forgot. :x

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-06-09T15:49:00

2005-06-09T19:53:08Z

If she wants to fight with me, then so be it, but she better be prepared to lose. Bitch.

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-06-09T08:08:00

2005-06-09T12:08:59Z

I'm super super duper duper bored.

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-06-09T07:59:00

2005-06-09T12:03:48Z

Ihateeveryone. Bitches. For stupid reasons, but for me it's not stupid.

Jessica introduced me to her b/f, although I already know him. & I'm not a big fan of him. I mean he's nice and all, he's just too cocky.

This is my horoscope:: You mean a lot to you-know-who. Don't underestimate how much other people care about you.

Awww, my teacher's using her cell phone. =-O In class.

This morning was a total drag. Stupid people just pissing me off.

♥,
Heather

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-06-08T20:01:00

2005-06-09T00:02:49Z

him [7:25 PM]: hey hey
XxXdirrtydivaXx [7:25 PM]: hi
him [7:26 PM]: whats new?
XxXdirrtydivaXx [7:26 PM]: not much, you
him [7:26 PM]: getting in more trouble
XxXdirrtydivaXx [7:27 PM]: what now?
him [7:27 PM]: buying drugs
XxXdirrtydivaXx [7:28 PM]: you still haven't learned your lesson?
him [7:28 PM]: never will
XxXdirrtydivaXx [7:28 PM]: i guess you won't w/that attitude
him [7:28 PM]: yea
XxXdirrtydivaXx [7:29 PM]: you don't care what happens do you?
him [7:29 PM]: noooope
XxXdirrtydivaXx [7:29 PM]: one day you will.. when you're regretting it
him [7:29 PM]: i never will
XxXdirrtydivaXx [7:30 PM]: no, trust me, i've seen this happened to too many people i know, and now they totally regret it, and one day, you truly will
him [7:30 PM]: nope
him [7:30 PM]: i've stopped caring about everything a long time ago
him [7:30 PM]: i live w/ no regrets now
him [7:31 PM]: i gtg i'll be back in a half hour
XxXdirrtydivaXx [7:31 PM]: kay, bye

YAY! Only one day of school left.
♥,
Heather

hiii_im_heather @ 2005-06-08T16:29:00

2005-06-08T20:31:49Z

**(A girl is talking to her friend) "I wanna grow old with him- get married, travel and have kids with him- build a life with him." (her friend replies) "What makes you think that already?" She answers... "Because of the feeling that goes through my body right before he kisses me, the way he holds onto me so tight like he doesn't want to let go, the way he will fall asleep in my arms, and the way he stares into my eyes when he tells me he loves me, I can tell that this one is being for real- he has to be the one."

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

& NO matter how many times I hear this one, I still love it. <3

girl: i saw him today
boy: it seems like it`s been forever
girl: i wonder if he still cares?
boy: she looks better than ever before
girl: i couldn`t stop staring at him
boy: i asked about her new boyfriend
girl: i asked him how things were going
boy: she`s probably really happy now
girl: i`d choose him over any boy i`m with
boy: i couldn`t look at her without starting to cry
girl: he couldn`t even look at me
boy: i told her i miss her
girl: he doesn`t mean it
boy: i meant it
girl: he didn`t mean it
boy: it`s hard to look at her with him
girl: i don`t wanna think about what we could of been
boy: i held my baby girl for the last time
girl: he gave me a friendly hug good bye
boy: then i went home and cried
girl: then i went home and cried
boy: i lost her forever
girl: i still love him

Friends forever," she said.
"Friends forever," he said.
Eight years old and they made the vow to remain friends forever.
"I need some room," she said.
"I'll back away," he said.
Ten years old and they made the vow to give each other space.
"Does Tommy like me?" she asked.
"I'll find out," he said.
Twelve years old and he made the vow to find out if Tommy liked her.
"He doesn't love me anymore," she said.
"He doesn't deserve you," he said.
Fourteen years old and he made the vow to love her forever.
"Nobody loves me," she said.
"I know someone who does," he said.
Sixteen years old and he made the vow to love her forever.
"I'm getting married," she said.
"I'll be there," he said.
Eighteen years old and he made the vow to forever hold his peace.
"I got divorced yesterday," she said.
"I'm here for you," he said.
Twenty years old and he made the vow to be there for her forever.
"Why doesn't anyone love me?" she asked.
"I have always loved you," he said.
Twenty-two years old and he made the vow to keep on loving her.
"I could never love you," she said.
"I could never stop," he said.
Twenty-four years old and he made the vow to never love again.
"I can never see you again," she said.
"I can never live again," he said.
Twenty-six years old and he made the vow to never live again.
"I'm sorry," she said.
Twenty-eight years old and he made the vow as he lay in an open cask

and the tears begin to fall...

♥
Heather

#13

2005-06-07T19:37:09Z

I come home, and nanny's like, i bought you something. So I follow her into the bedroom, and she's bought me a pair of sandles, they are the ugliest effin' sandles. They're green with giant flowers on them. They'd be cute if they weren't green and just so.. but i told her i liked them, cause i didn't want to sound ungrateful.

Why does that bitch have to be here? I really don't like her. I mean, why hasn't she gone and jumped off a cliff yet?!

I'm so sleepy. 7 period was fun today. We played this game, I don't remember what it's called, but Coach Berlin & Abell came into our room, and they were showing us these football gloves that they had, and they were all amazed by them, and it was crazy.

Kay, I'm going to get something to drink.

♥,
Heather

#12

2005-06-07T15:02:59Z

SoIwillnotforgetthewebsite.

http://www.alltel.com/specials/#wireless

[Edit] Today will be the last of my life that I'll eat lunch in the cafeteria. http://www.coolmath-games.com/lemonade/index.html [/Edit]

#11

2005-06-07T14:40:56Z

WHOA. I found out some nasty ass shit this morning. Ewww times a jillion zillion million. OKAY. Christina told me, that she sucked this guys d^*k in 7th period. In the freaking classroom, while class was freaking going on. That is fucking nasty. Half of what she did, and the other half being who she is and who she did it to. & OMFG. EWWW. +He doesn't like her, omg, HE DOES NOT EVEN LIKE HER. We seen him this morning she stood right beside him cause she was going to her locker. He didn't even look her way, not the first time. She is one nasty fucking bitch. gawd. I'm so fucking disgusted. Seriously.

One of my sandles is like all tight, and the other one is really loose.

Omg, Kevin is a fucking stupid ass. This morning, he got on the bus and was like "Look at my senior" @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ And he was talking all this crap. He gets on my last nerve.

I need to look for a new ceeeeeeeeeeeell phone.

♥,
Heather

#10

2005-06-07T10:12:28Z

I look like shit. I hate days like today. I can already tell it's going to to by so slow.